Adoption – One of Our Favorite Words
We were not able to create our family the usual way and for us this was devastating. Yes there are worse problems. With that in mind we were faced with some choices. Life is made of one choice after another. Everyone makes choices daily. Those choices take us each down a new path.
We chose adoption. We thought long and hard about it. We worked with our social worker to talk things through and do our home work. It seemed a natural fit. We then waited as patiently as we could. Our hearts would break seeing moms and dads with their children while we waited. Then one day we got a call. An angel had made a choice. She chose adoption as well. Her path was that of a birthmother. We met and we were totally taken by this charming, loving and mature young lady. We visited for 2.5 hours. We shared stories and we cried a bit too. She chose us to be her baby’s parents. We were numb. We waited 6 weeks- we exchanged letters. Our son was born and his birthmother placed him in our arms. We had a blessing ceremony to honor her and her choice to maintain life and to bless our family. It was powerful! It was filled with many emotions-the most powerful was that of love!
We have been Mom and Dad to two priceless children. Has it been easy? No.We go through the usual sleepless nights, kiss boo-boo’s and discipline issues that biological parents go through. Has it been worth it? Absolutely! Would we choose adoption again knowing what we know now? Absolutely!
One night our six year old was talking about adoption. We have always been very open and honest with our children about our choice to adopt and what a blessing they are to us. As the conversation progressed I realized something. I was actually grateful for my infertility! Had it not been for that, I would not have my kids. Yes-I told him that too.
One never truly knows what will happen in one’s future; what choices we may be faced with. What we need to do is keep our faith in God that we will do what is best. Make the best choice.
We chose adoption as did our son and daughter’s birthparents, and for that we are forever in their debt. They made our dreams come true
~ Adoptive parents Randy and Sue
Our Adoption Story
After going through numerous tests and treatments for infertility, we decided that it was time for us to explore domestic adoption as a way to expand our family. We had always talked about wanting children and we finally realized that adoption would be the only way to make that dream of being parents a reality for us. After researching a number of agencies that provide adoption services, we decided to contact Catholic Charities. We completed the application and home study process and created our profiles for prospective birth parents to view. The experience required us to really think about who we are as a couple and who we would be as parents. It was an in-depth and sometimes exhausting process that ultimately strengthened our relationship.
We were excited when Catholic Charities first offered visibility on their website, with online pictures and profiles of waiting adoptive families, for birthparents to view along with agency contact information. This is how Estee’s birthmother found us. After what felt like decades of waiting, our little one’s birthmother and birthfather chose us to parent the beautiful little girl we share. We send birthparents updates several times a year with Catholic Charities serving as the intermediary and birthparents have the option of keeping in touch with us also. We are thankful to have the opportunity to share pictures and milestones and continually express our eternal gratitude for their decision to allow us to love this incredible little girl.
Our social worker, Becky Laqua has been incredible to work with. She supported us along the way as we prepared all of the paperwork we needed to stay current and in compliance with adoption laws. She listened when we were frustrated with the wait, and she provided encouragement that though there were no guarantees, that there would be a special baby for us one day. Becky worked closely with Estee’s birthparents’ social worker as well (Tammy Petersen is also an asset to the Catholic Charities staff!), and made sure that all of us had our needs met and wishes known.
We really hope that families continue to grow with the support of the Catholic Charities adoption program. We pray that adoptive families don’t lose hope during the long wait and through the placements that may not come to be. The end result, whenever that may happen for families, is a true miracle.
~ Kim and Jen
Rollercoaster Ride Ends in a Beautful Adoption
We started the adoption process in November of 2004 and were finished with out home study and on the waiting list by May 2005. We were chosen to become adoptive parents in July 2006 after waiting a little over a year. That September we were at the hospital when our newborn baby was born. We brought him home 2 days later. He was with us at home 1 night. The next evening we received a call that the baby’s birthmother had changed her mind. Needless to say we were devastated. We had gotten a small taste of parenthood and knew we had to continue with the adoption process to fulfill our dream of becoming parents.
A year later we were again chosen by a birthmother and birthfather. We were very scared after what happened in our first experience, but we were extremely luck because these birthparents knew of our past situation and were very sensitive to that. Almost a year to the day after our first baby was born, we were again blessed to be at the hospital when our beautiful son was born. That beautiful little boy is now one and we still look at him every day and feel so fortunate that two wonderful people, with their family’s support, gave us this wonderful gift. We are so truly blessed and thank God daily for our blessing.
The process of becoming parents through adoption was quite a roller coaster ride, but our end result was so worth every bit of it – our beautiful son, Ean!
~ Anne and Andy
Happy and Challenging
Our adoption experience was both a stressful and a happy time. The waiting and the approval process was the stressful part, but the end result was worth it all. The day we picked up our sons was one of the happiest days of our lives. They were both only 2 ½ weeks old when they were placed in our home. The final adoption process was a breeze. Our boys are now 23 and 17 years old and they have filled our lives with many happy and sometimes challenging moments. We have been truly blessed.
~ Requests to remain anonymous
Counseling Helped our Process
One of the things we really appreciated about Catholic Charities adoption services was the counseling. Not only did we receive counseling allowing us to talk through our history and our philosophies on parenting, but we also had the change for the social worker to get to know us. Additionally, our daughter’s birthmother also received counseling. We truly appreciated this so that she could talk through her situation and we respected Catholic Charities respect for her. We are so pleased to know her choice to make the adoption plan was truly her choice, not something somebody else pushed off on her.
~ Requests to remain anonymous
Events are Happier because of our Adoption
Becoming adoptive parents is absolutely the best thing that ever happened for us! I was thinking about all of the things we would never have experiences without Mark…peek-a-boo, hide and seek, diapers, potty training, Play Doh, finger painting, 1st foods, 1st steps, backyard picnics, bee sting, wading pool, tantrums (not very many) kindergarten tears (mine), Halloween parties, May Day baskets, Lego K’Nex, Magy, bedtime stories, Disney World, Sunday school teacher, school volunteer, teacher conferences (Mr. Social), wonderful sense of humor, Baptism, First Communion, birthday parties, Love You Mom & Dad!, school spirit, boy scouts, band/piano/guitar lessons, football/soccer/baseball, carpools, Wisconsin Dells, vacations, home work nagging, teen arguments, teen angst (one day I’m a kid, the next I’m an adult), stinky football clothes, life questions, voice change, new way to look at things, video games, music, fantastic “chef” creations, test messages. We’re looking forward to Confirmation and drivers ed. The most important things we wouldn’t have experiences is more love than we could ever have imagined!!
~ Requests to remain anonymous
Becoming a Family
Adoption meant “becoming a family” where as before Tom and I were just a married couple. It presented to us this opportunity to share our love and our Christian values in raising a child. We pray for the birthparents of our two children for their courage and love in giving us their “gifts” to raise. Without adoption Tom and I would have lived our lives as a couple – for both of us had problems with reproduction, and invetro fertilization of donor sperm we felt was not our Lords plan. The special day we went to Catholic Charities to receive our son and two years later our daughter was filled with excitement, wonder, joy, and thanks giving.
~ Requests to remain anonymous